Bloggy, hello. :) When I was online, I got to chat with KA. It's been a while since we last had OUR talk. Months ago. Sa cellphone pa yun na sobrang haba ng conversation. Cellphone call. Hahaha… Kadalasan kasi kapag lumalabas kami with friends, puro kalokohan nagagawa namin. We don't get to have our own time kasi masyadong malaki ang group. YAAAAAAK… Own time daw oh. Sagwa. Hahaha…

Kidding aside, babae po ako… :) As sure as I can beeeeeeeee… Tutubi na walang tinatagong bato sa ilalim ng lupa tinuka ng manok… Hahaha… JOOOOOKE.

Anyway... We were able to talk about a lot of things, and I have come to realize that I still do not know myself completely. Now it's funny to think how many posts I have made here trying to define and to describe who Hannah is…

I'm still in the process of experimenting, of exploring, of discovering. yadda yadda yadda... Kaya siguro may mga bagay akong nagagawa na minsan feeling ko hindi "Hannah". Eh sino ba talaga si Hannah? Hahaha… May schizophrenia ata ako ah. Hahaha… Kidding. Ngayon, makulit at sobrang daldal ko na. Di ko alam kung bakit. Pero more than being makulit, pakiramdam ko, lover pa rin ako ng silence. Kaya siguro tuwing nagpo-post ako sa iyo, may part sa akin na parang ayaw i-publish mga isinulat ko. Kaya siguro bago ako makapag-post, inaabot pa nang siyam-siyam kasi may mga bagay na gusto ko sa akin lang. Kaya siguro minsan bigla na lang akong tumatahimik. Kaya siguro minsan napapagod akong magsalita… Kasi hindi naman talaga ako yung Hannah na madaldal at ipinaaalam sa kahit na sino kung anong nangyayari sa kanya. Kasi mas gusto ko talagang nakikinig. Kasi makulit lang ako sa mga taong close ako, hindi sa lahat. Kasi mahiyain naman talaga ako. Kasi hindi naman talaga ako magaling mag-express ng nararamdaman through words.

Kasi hindi ko alam? Hahaha…

But I can't say too na ang Hannah na humaharap sa ibang tao ngayon ay hindi totoong Hannah. Because whatever I do comes from me. I think what I'm saying now is more of an "internal" issue rather than a social one. More of what I think about myself than what others think about me.

There are things that when I do, I feel uneasy. Maybe that's just part of discovering myself. Parang clay. Bago mabuo sa gusto kong figure, mahabang proseso pa ng paghuhulma ang dapat pagdaanan. Kung hindi ako komportable at hindi ako masaya, I should choose another way. Normal lang na maging uneasy. Just choose a new direction. But I should never stop changing because that's one nature of a human being. Yan ang sabi ni KA. Tama siya. Wala akong dapat ipilit. Parang enzyme, may active site (WHUT? Tama ba? Hahaha…). Hahaha… Kita mo naman, KA. Napaka-medical nito. Palibhasa, nurse ka. Hahaha… Joke lang...

SO...

Hannah is…


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Bloggy: Just let it be, Hannah. Let yourself be. :)